Writing an entry about the event I’m producing next Wednesday evening has been on my to do list for about six weeks.
To say that I’ve been too busy to write about the workshop is too boldfaced a lie, since I found time to do other things like traveling, running, shopping, and starting a new job. I’m very good at productive procrastination. I’ve procrastinated because I am uncomfortable with promoting myself. I often forget that I taught classes and spoke on a number of panels about equity compensation last year, because I don’t talk about it a lot. This dawned on me when I included it as a byline on About.me page. Between you and me, I feel uncomfortable right now with the roundabout way I’m talking about and maybe even conflating a weakness and accomplishment. So while I’m being honest with my discomfort I might as well say that I don’t consider myself a terribly good negotiator. So my procrastination stems from my lack of confidence as a negotiator.
I’m probably average in terms of my negotiation skills. And you know, that’s okay. I’m not Donald Trump. I’m not a fan of yelling. I think a good negotiation is a conversation where both parties come to listen and learn about each others needs. A good negotiator doesn’t make outrageous demands based on bombastic rhetoric. A good negotiator believes in positive outcomes, frames the ask well to suit the needs of her counterpart, and receives what she deserves.
Fave phrases to repeat – Internal locus of control aka I am in control of my destiny. Ask, believe, receive. #getyourworth #in
— Jamie Lee (@JiEunJamie) October 16, 2011
When I was a recent college grad new to the working world, I had no idea that I can ask for things I want in the workplace. I naively thought that by keeping my head down and working hard, even on weekends and especially when no one was watching, that I would somehow magically be rewarded with raises and promotions. When this scenario failed to materialize, I got disenchanted with my job. It wasn’t until recently that I realized I can simply ask, that your career is a two-way street, that you need to communicate your desires and goals. Once I realized this, I wanted to share the news with as many people as possible. Hence the workshop.
I had a post-it note stuck to the iMac at my previous post. It read,
The difference between high earners and the rest of us has nothing to do with our skills — the culprits are FEAR, LETHARGY, and SELF-SABOTAGE.
It’s from here.
Learning to negotiate for yourself is to combat fear, lethargy, and self-sabotage. So come flex your negotiation muscle with me and wimlink on February 27th.