We ask each other, daily, for little things. A quarter for the parking meter. An empty chair in a cafe. A lighter. A lift across town. And we must all, at one point or another, ask for the more difficult things: A promotion. An introduction to a friend. An introduction to a book. A loan. An STD test. A kidney.
If I learned anything from the surprising resonance of my TED talk, it was this:
Everybody struggles with asking.
From what I’ve seen, it isn’t so much the act of asking that paralyzes us – it’s what lies beneath; the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of rejection, the fear of looking needy or weak. The fear of being seen as a burdensome member of the community instead of a productive one.
It points, fundamentally, to our separation from one another.