Yours truly in the middle
Have you ever seen the ABC sitcom, Fresh Off the Boat?
I am an immigrant, or more precisely, a child of immigrants. My parents brought me to America from South Korea when I was eight.
Like in the show, mom once packed me a brown bag of Korean food for lunch. I envied Lunchables other kids unpacked in the cafeteria.
Credit Getty Images/iStockphoto
By now you know you need to make bolder asks for bigger opportunities and better compensation packages. You’re ready to work hard and negotiate for the resources, support, and money you need to achieve your ambitious dreams.
Which is all well and good, but perhaps you’re wondering: Exactly how do I do that? What are the appropriate strategies and words to use in a negotiation?
May you be a rising star in 2015!
Photo by the talented Melissa Maples
Thanks for publishing Negotiating at Work webinar on The Muse. I’m not sure if it’s appropriate for me to say that a raise would make me happier and want to work even harder. How can my getting a raise make the company tangibly better, given it takes money from the company?
Space to breathe, by the talented Melissa Maples.
As the year draws to a close, things are getting more hectic. Deadlines loom. The pressure grows. Shopping lists and to-do lists grow, the days shorter.
Earlier this evening, I walked behind a petite woman holding four shopping bags, clomping down on NYC street as she talked on the phone. She said, “yeah, so now I just need to go pick up another gift, go home, shower, change, write a few emails, then head out again.”
polar bears working hard for a buck…in a mall
The holidays are stressful, onerous, and painful for reasons your therapist(s) could take months and years to analyze and spit back to you.
It goes back to your childhood, they’ll tell you.
Your parents didn’t love you enough. Or they loved you too much.
Or they were immigrants who worked themselves to your despair. (Your therapist permits you to blame them. Let it out. Be angry.)
First day of #BullCon14, I’m checking in at the Surfcomber, and the friendly hotel staff behind the reception desk points to the Bullish banner and asks, “What’s that?” So I tell him, “Oh, it’s a conference for ambitious and feminist women. And that’s the brand logo. The founder co-opted the male symbol of power and put a unicorn horn on it to represent feminist unicorns” And he says, “Wow, I mean…just the bull itself is frightening enough.”
One of the things I’m most grateful for and proud of in 2014 was successfully negotiating a return to Bullish Conference by Jennifer Dziura. Dubbed a Powerful Summit for Ambitious Women, Bullish Conference is a glorious and busy weekend spent learning and rubbing sun-kissed elbows with an impressive assortment of astute businesswomen — or gentlewomen in Get Bullish parlance — at the vividly colorful Surfcomber Hotel in Miami.
Asking for votes and support, negotiating for bipartisan agreement in the Senate, speaking up for the victims of sexual harassment in the military, then cooking dinner at home for her toddler sons at the end of a long, hard day. New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand does it all with determined courage, near-evangelical confidence and the tenacity of…a honey badger.
Senator Kirsten Gillibrand
Talley Henning Brown works as Editor at Daggerwing Health. She attended Improv Your Way to Negotiation Prowess workshop and was kind to share what she learned from the experience in this excellent guest post:
Philosophies abound about how women should approach the many difficult angles of “empowerment in the workplace.” It’s 2014, so at this point, the entire female workforce has grown up in the age of “women’s studies” and every perspective that movement has birthed. What I have found in my adult life is that most of those perspectives are just a little too limited — and thus limiting.
Fall is here, meaning winter is just around the corner. Which kills me, every year. The cold weather and shorter days trigger a response in my body that turns me into a stiff, chronically fatigued and antisocial grouch. I hate it. Every winter I battle the impulse to give in and stay in, bundle myself in defeat and down, eat an endless supply of sweet pastries and mope like sorry old Rudolph before that fateful foggy Christmas Eve.
Winter sucks, but it doesn’t have to drain your ambition, focus and drive. We can overcome.
For the ballsy people reading this, I have some book recommendations to help you overcome your inner winter mope. I read them this summer, and they helped me lift out of anxiety and depression, become more present and grateful, and improve my negotiating skills.
The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee by Sarah Silverman