Earlier this week, I had the delightful privilege of leading Negotiation Prowess workshop for women grad students at Columbia University.
It was fun, and I dare say a success!
The individual questions from attendees were specific and challenging, and I’ve been mulling on them ever since.
Which made me see that there were two key recurring themes. Allow me to explain…
1. Should you negotiate for the sake of negotiating?
No and yes.
Let’s start with no. Don’t negotiate for the sake of negotiating. Don’t negotiate because I told you to. Don’t negotiate because your friends or parents tell you to.
Which might sound bonkers to you, especially if you’ve heard me talk or have been reading this newsletter where I stress how YOU SHOULD ASK FOR MORE.
Credit Getty Images/iStockphoto
By now you know you need to make bolder asks for bigger opportunities and better compensation packages. You’re ready to work hard and negotiate for the resources, support, and money you need to achieve your ambitious dreams.
Which is all well and good, but perhaps you’re wondering: Exactly how do I do that? What are the appropriate strategies and words to use in a negotiation?
May you be a rising star in 2015!
Photo by the talented Melissa Maples
Thanks for publishing Negotiating at Work webinar on The Muse. I’m not sure if it’s appropriate for me to say that a raise would make me happier and want to work even harder. How can my getting a raise make the company tangibly better, given it takes money from the company?
Space to breathe, by the talented Melissa Maples.
As the year draws to a close, things are getting more hectic. Deadlines loom. The pressure grows. Shopping lists and to-do lists grow, the days shorter.
Earlier this evening, I walked behind a petite woman holding four shopping bags, clomping down on NYC street as she talked on the phone. She said, “yeah, so now I just need to go pick up another gift, go home, shower, change, write a few emails, then head out again.”
Love this recap article by Koa Beck, Senior Editor at DailyWorth. DailyWorth is a leading online publication focusing on women’s financial health.
When you negotiate, remember that it’s a discussion.
Jamie Lee reminded us that when negotiating anything, both parties have their objectives. While it’s imperative to prepare for negotiations, the point is not necessarily to blurt out a rehearsed script and then clam up and wait anxiously for your prize. Negotiation is about listening as much as it is about being clear on what you came for — but pivot appropriately based on the response.
Remembering that negotiating is a conversation is also helpful if you stumble into some pushback. “No” doesn’t necessarily mean no until the end of time. “No” is not a rejection of you, Jamie says. Sometimes it simply means “not right now.”
Read more on DailyWorth
Lining up for negotiation role play at Bullish Conference in Miami
Nothing speaks louder than action. So take some time during this season of frenzied feasting and shopping to plan and practice your big scary ask. Take action on building your negotiation prowess. Your future self will thank you.
The role-play is designed to be applicable to a wide range of situations, so you can use it regardless of whether you’re asking for a raise at work or negotiating a saner holiday plan with your loved ones.
Maybe you’re wondering, should you even bother practicing through role-play?
Totally up to you.
But does it work?
What does abundance look like for you? Photo by Melissa Maples.
What if you accepted the first offer for a new job without even blinking an eye at the lower-than-market salary figure. Worse yet, what if you didn’t even know you lowballed yourself? I’ve made this costly mistake a few times early in my career.
An oldie but a goodie from the treasure trove of anonymous insight, Reddit.
I work for a large multinational tech company, I regularly hire woman for 65% to 75% of what males make. I am sick of it, here is why it happens, and how you can avoid it.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for more, it’s not insulting or in any way going to affect your ability to be hired (we can always say no)
- When you ask for more, give a number! If you let me pick, I will continue to lowball it.
- Ask for raises, confident people get them more often than high performers in a heavy bureaucracy.