Ji Eun (Jamie) Lee

Professional Speaker & Negotiation Trainer

Tag: Salary Negotiation

A Step-by-Step Guide to Salary Negotiation

Credit Getty Images/iStockphoto

Credit Getty Images/iStockphoto

By now you know you need to make bolder asks for bigger opportunities and better compensation packages. You’re ready to work hard and negotiate for the resources, support, and money you need to achieve your ambitious dreams.

Which is all well and good, but perhaps you’re wondering: Exactly how do I do that? What are the appropriate strategies and words to use in a negotiation?

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Q&A: How does getting a raise benefit my employer?

May you be a rising star in 2015

May you be a rising star in 2015!

Photo by the talented Melissa Maples

Hi Jamie,

Thanks for publishing Negotiating at Work webinar on The Muse. I’m not sure if it’s appropriate for me to say that a raise would make me happier and want to work even harder. How can my getting a raise make the company tangibly better, given it takes money from the company?

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Don’t lowball yourself. Give a number.

An oldie but a goodie from the treasure trove of anonymous insight, Reddit.

I work for a large multinational tech company, I regularly hire woman for 65% to 75% of what males make. I am sick of it, here is why it happens, and how you can avoid it.

TL;DR

  • Don’t be afraid to ask for more, it’s not insulting or in any way going to affect your ability to be hired (we can always say no)
  • When you ask for more, give a number! If you let me pick, I will continue to lowball it.
  • Ask for raises, confident people get them more often than high performers in a heavy bureaucracy.

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Contentious Tactics in the Workplace: Shaming, Threats, Logic and Ingratiation

contentious_kids

It was at the tail end of another long, hard day in the office that I received an unexpected call from head office in South Korea.

I picked up the phone and heard an angry male voice speaking in Korean.

“I’m fed up with your sloppy work. Why can’t you get your act together! You should be ashamed of yourself!”

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Negotiating Sooner Than Later at Athena Leadership Center

On February 25th, I had the pleasure of reprising Negotiating Sooner Than Later workshop at Athena Leadership Center at Barnard College.

On the heels of last October’s hour-long workshop, February’s workshop was extended and improved, with mock negotiation sessions that addressed the here, now, and later of negotiation for college students. I addressed negotiation as a life skill directly applicable to academic life as well as useful in professional life — more specifically, for conflict resolution and for salary negotiation.

Barnard students practiced negotiating with a partner for mutually agreeable solutions in three different scenarios:

1) negotiating with a classmate to resolve time conflict while working together on a class presentation

2) negotiating as an intern to establish their value to a potential employer

3) negotiating an an employee for compensation

Each round was punctuated with open discussion on specific negotiation frameworks. Students took away specific tactics and word-for-word scripts for negotiating for mutual win outcomes.

I really enjoy facilitating workshops with college students and look forward to doing more in 2014.

Negotiation: Is it about getting your slice of the pie?

Bullish: Hi Jamie, thanks for talking with us today. I recently attended a seminar about negotiating, and I remember hearing a speaker suggest that we keep in mind when negotiating that, after all, we’re only asking for “what’s fair.” I thought, hmmn … no. I think that’s a very stereotypically female way of thinking. While you’re asking for what you think is “fair,” men are asking for three times that. And what is “fair,” anyway? The whole idea of fairness is often used by employers to keep workers (equally) down — the pretense of democracy is used to keep from paying the highest-value employees in line with the value they provide.

Jamie: You make an excellent point regarding the “fairness” argument in the context of salary negotiation. I’ve been subject to this same argument myself at the negotiation table. Because I know this to be a negotiation tactic, my response was to not respond to it. When used effectively, silence can convey power and the willingness to walk away from the table.

Bullish: So what role does the idea of “fairness” really play in negotiating?

Jamie: To me, the idea of fairness reminds me of childhood — particularly the flawed childhood lessons in negotiation that don’t apply in the real world of work. Think of six year old Sally stomping her feet, scowling her face at her parents, and demanding for the same toys and privileges as her older sibling Mary. “That’s not fair!” she cries.

Or, in my case, growing up with two siblings meant bickering over limited resources on the table, namely food. If we had to share a pie, I would not be happy if my older sibling got the lion’s share of it. To be fair, it would have to be split into even thirds, but that was hardly the case. The bigger or faster sibling got to eat more pie than the smaller or slower one. You had to fight for more, and someone, a slow eater like me, would invariably complain that it wasn’t fair.

By the way, the field of conflict resolution has a term to describe the scenario of splitting the pie; it’s called distributive bargaining. That’s definitely not the type of negotiation I’d advise, because a professional delivers and grows the value of her company or client. She’s growing the pie, not splitting it.

Okay, so life isn’t fair. As working women we have to see and act in the world as it actually is and not how we think it should be. It doesn’t serve us to approach the negotiation table with an idealized expectation that our employers or clients will pay us what’s fair, because that’s what we think they should do. For the same reason, it’s never a good idea to ask for more pay based on the argument that you should make just as much as a coworker, or — if you’re a consultant or contractor — someone in your field, who does similar work as you. I’m talking about comparing, which is not to be confused with benchmarking against industry standards. By comparing, you might think you’re just asking for what’s fair, but to the other side, you could come across as whiny and childish, like little Sally.

Instead, make the argument based on your own merits and the value you bring to the table. How did you help the company or client achieve their business goals? What were the positive outcomes of your services and contributions? If you are delivering great value, and you can make a compelling case for it, you can open a dialogue for getting more for it. The right mindset, with a focus on the value of your work, underlies effective self-advocacy, asking and getting your worth.

In other words, instead of worrying about how the pie is split, aim your focus on how you are growing the pie.

Originally published on Get Bullish.

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